Why I Stopped Reading "The Defining Decade"

I thought I needed to read a book about personal development as a young professional. I thought I'd learn something about how to take control of a time in my life I'm most flexible to make drastic changes in regards to my life path. And that's why I picked up The Defining Decade: Why Your Twenties Matter--And How to Make the Most of Them Now. It's written by a Developmental Psychologist who believes the time to get your rear in gear is your twenties because once you reach your thirties and forties, you (maybe) have more holding you back from making life-changing decisions: house, marriage, kids, car payments, etc.

Yeah - ok, I get it. But where the book fell short was in execution.

It was full of sappy complainers.

Each person complained about how useless their life had become, the fact they haven't found anyone to marry, and that they'll be stuck in their dead-end job forever. It's not exactly the most motivating book. Plus, who wants to read about people who complain?

The book made me mad. Why? Because I get frustrated when I see young people flounder their twenties away. It's sad. It's unfortunate. And this book fails to give these people the kick in the pants they need to lead a passionate life. It doesn't communicate "get off your ass and do something about your situation", when in reality, that's all you need to do.

If you're not happy, do what you need to do to make yourself happy

I like to think of myself as an exception to this twenty-something rule. An outlier of sorts. I have a great job, lead an industry-changing start-up, and share experiences with the greatest family and friends I could ask for. But, when something isn't feeling right, I make a change. Apparently most people my age don't do that. Why?

A lack of belief.

Everyone can change. Every. Single. Person. What's missing? Your internal fire. You're missing the desire to create a better life for yourself. Nothing is holding you back except for yourself. Not your parents, not your buddies, not your boyfriend, and not your boss. The only person in control of your life is you.

That's what it comes down to. You can read a million books about making a change, but they're useless chatter until you want to change. And I didn't arrive at this mindset because of the Defining Decade book. I've learned to change based on this book and this one.

So what are you waiting for? Put down The Defining Decade and change yourself for the better.